Lydia and I are the only ones in our extended family that are Calvinists. Lydia's parents are Roman Catholic, mine are former United Methodists gone Missionary Alliance. My grandparents on my dad's side were Weslyan while my mother's parents did not go to church although they were baptised Presbyterian. Basically we have all kinds. Lydia and I, on the other hand, are Calvinists through-and-through.Why? Well I saw a list on Jolly Blogger that sums it up just fine. (Sorry in advance to my uncle Alvin, who is a Bob Jones graduated Baptist-Dispensationalist minister.)
# 1. Calvinists tend to wear wool and cotton. Dispensationalists tend to wear lime-green polyester leisure suits.
# 2. John Calvin was French…being French is very chic.
# 3. Calvin sounds like Calvin Klein…and his clothes are very chic.
# 4. Calvinists can drink.
# 5. Calvinists can smoke.
# 6. Dispensationalists are into prophecy conferences where they talk about Star-Trek eschatology and the mark of the Beast. Calvinists have conferences on “life and culture”, art, social justice, and other high- brow things like that. Afterwards, we go to the local pub and talk about philosophy over a pint of Bass ale.
# 7. Calvinists have close ties with Scotland and Scotland is very cool: you know –Sean Connery, the movie Highlander, Bagpipes, the Loch Ness Monster, Glenlivet 18 year old Scotch, the movie Train Spotting, Brave Heart, etc.
# 8. Calvinists think we are smarter than anybody else.
# 9. It is more socially acceptable to say, “I go to Grace Presbyterian Church” than to say, “I go to Washed In The Blood Worship Center”, “I go to Sonlife Charismatic Believers Assembly”, or to say “I go to Boston Berean Bible Believing Baptist Bethel”, or to say “I go to the Latter-Day- Rain Deliverance Tabernacle Prophecy Center, Inc.”, or to say “I go to the Philadelphia Church of the Majority Text”, or to say “I go to the Lithuanian Apostolic Orthodox Autocephalic Church of the Baltic union of 1838″.
# 10. Ultimately, I am a Calvinist because I had no choice in the matter.
5 comments:
Ha ha haha ha, that's like "how you know if you're reformed".
(scratches chin, turns to neighbor and says "that was a good point!".)
Calvinism is so snobby, that's why I like it.
A few years ago I told Schwertley he should name his new church the Lake of Fire Church of God. I think that's a terrific name.
For the record my Dispensational friend from work was offended by this post.
:)
Actually, I thought it was cute and charming.
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